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SCOTT McCLELLAN: …Let me go over the menu for tomorrow. Free range turkey, the turkey will be brined. For those of you, like me, who do not cook the turkey, that means soaked in water with salt and sugar to make it more tender, and then it will be roasted. They will have cornbread dressing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, fresh cranberry sauce, giblet gravy, fruit salad, green beans with anchovy and red peppers, crescent rolls. And for dessert, pumpkin pie and pecan pie.

Q. Does the President eat anchovies, or will he be picking them off of his green beans? (Laughter.)

MR. McCLELLAN: I’ll take that question. (Laughter.)

Q. He doesn’t like raw fish, he calls it “bait.” (Laughter.)

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Q. Ari, first of all, why is national security able to afford a wrinkle in homeland security being formulated for the next few months? Why is it that the nation — I guess, you don’t understand the question, the way you’re looking –

ARI FLEISCHER: No, I was trying to say if you said a wrinkle or a winkle. I didn’t know what you –

Q. Wrinkle –

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ARI FLEISCHER: I have nothing, no opening statement. I have nothing to say. I understand that one reporter has asked to make sure that I come back [to talk to the press on Air Force One] today, so I am happy to be back here. If anybody has any questions, I’ll answer them, and we will be more than pleased to circulate this at whatever hour we can tonight. If there are no questions, that’s it, I’ll be happy to go back [to the front of the plane].

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Q. Any clear guidance to all those unemployed Americans on whether or not their –

ARI FLEISCHER: You can ask the question a million different ways, the answer’s going to be the same. Anything else? All righty. We’ll see everybody in snowy St. Petersburg [Russia].

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Q. People often get married and they get so cautious all of a sudden; what is this?

(Laughter.)

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ARI FLEISCHER: I would like to just note that we have broken a record, this is now a four-person, on the record gaggle. We have four administration spokespeople at your disposal. The reason for that, it takes four of us to equal one McQuillan — I mean [Deputy Spokesman Scott] McClellan. McClellan. (Laughter.) That was not a McQuillan, that was a McClellan. (Laughter.)

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Q. How about the reaction to the [new Bob Woodward] book?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: I think it’s what I expressed earlier. I haven’t read the book. The
President has not read the book. From reading the excerpts, it appears
to offer some interesting perspectives on recent history. And as time
goes by and as we continue to reflect on history, I’m sure there are
going to be a lot of other perspectives and insights offered, as well.

Q. Well, is it true or not? I mean, this is a very simple question.

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I’m not up here to do book reviews. I’ll leave
that to others that do that as a profession.

Q. Well, you’ve got the inside information right here.

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, we can sit here and talk about a lot — there
have been other books written. There’s been books written by one of
our own correspondents here at the White House, as well. I’m just not
going to sit up here and do book reviews or promote books.

Q. He had access, total access to the administration, didn’t he?

MR. McCLELLAN: We did work with him on this book.

Q. Okay. Then wouldn’t you imagine that he’s reflecting exactly what
goes on?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, there are a lot of people that I imagine he talked
to. And I can’t speak to the accuracy of every conversation or everything
there.

Q. Is that how you get access? If you’re writing a book you can get
that? (Laughter.) I’m writing a book.

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Q. Ari — I’m sorry. Scott.

SCOTT McCLELLAN: With hair.

Q. I got your attention. (Laughter.)

Q. Oh, that’s on the record. (Laughter.)

MR. McCLELLAN: I’m — he put it on the record last week, or a couple weeks ago. He just didn’t put it on camera.

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SCOTT McCLELLAN: David Sanger or David Gregory?

Q. The esteemed Mr. Gregory.

Q. Clearly mine. (Laughter.)

MR. McCLELLAN: Esteemed? (Laughter.)

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THE PRESIDENT: …and by the way, we’re here in honor of Ari Fleischer; otherwise we’d be in his house. But since he’s getting married this weekend, I thought it appropriate to leave the podium that he occupies empty, in honor of the fact that he’s getting married. I hope you all have sent your gifts to him.

(Laughter.)

Ari, I did what you asked me to do. (Laughter.) I’m sure he’s on C-SPAN right now.

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Q. Ari, on two issues, one close to your heart, I hope — will the President call for a total repeal of the marriage penalty tax? (Laughter.) And also on homeland defense…

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Q. On the U.N. resolution, I understand that revised language from the State Department is going up to New York today. Are you planning to present today to the Security Council or tomorrow? And how did you fudge the language in material breach to get the French to agree to it?

ARI FLEISCHER: Fudge, question mark, question mark, question mark?

Q. Yes, fudge.

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ARI FLEISCHER: It’s impossible to predict the future.

Q. You’re not saying whether it’s going to happen or not? For now, is it going to happen?

MR. FLEISCHER: It’s impossible to make any predictions about the future.

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ARI FLEISCHER: Good morning, one and all. Happy penultimate day. We’re almost there. If the President hasn’t campaigned in any of your hometowns, he’d like to apologize — we can certainly squeeze a few more in.

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Q. How will he mark the First Lady’s birthday, other than rolling over in bed and saying “happy birthday”?

ARI FLEISCHER: I anticipate that there will be frequent singing throughout the land, particularly in the Mississippi River region of the United States. I would anticipate that very few people in the history of our country will have been serenaded by as many people on one day as perhaps will happen today.

Q. Is he giving her a gift?

MR. FLEISCHER: What is he going to do? He’s going to pay careful attention to the singing that he hears at these various events. Out of courtesy and respect for Mrs. Bush, he may not sing, himself. If you see his lips moving on stage, I’m not sure that he will actually –

Q. Is that his gift to her, not singing?

MR. FLEISCHER: Well, that would be one of the gifts, not singing. He has already purchased her a present and that’s super-duper top-secret information.

Q. Did he give it to her?

MR. FLEISCHER: The President, of course –

Q. Does she have it or does she have to wait until the end of the day?

MR. FLEISCHER: I don’t know if he gave it to her already or not. I’ll have to do a little sleuthing. He told me yesterday that he already had it, so looked forward to giving it to her. The rest –

Q. — end to that story?

MR. FLEISCHER: Donald Rumsfeld couldn’t even find out, it’s so super-duper.

Q. Is there any party or anything, even a small, private — any party, a small, private party? I realize he’s busy today, but –

MR. FLEISCHER: No, I think the Bushes tend to celebrate these things quietly and privately.

Q. Are they going to do that on Air Force One? We’ve got that long, like 90 minutes when we’re on the ground in Missouri, where they have private time on Air Force One. Is this –

MR. FLEISCHER: I will do my best to annoy and bother the President by asking him what I can ask him about this topic and see if he is forthcoming with information. If I can use the names of any reporters, that might help me make the case to the President. For example, if I simply put the question to him myself, I think I may get a lack of full response, full throttle. If, however, I could borrow somebody’s good name and use their good name. For example, any volunteers here? (Laughter.)

Q. Bennett Roth, that might be good. (Laughter.)

MR. FLEISCHER: Mr. President, I have a question from a specific reporter. I’ll see if that opens up the flow of information better.

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